YATM | Confidence Grows Through Doing

Today's YATM newsletter is brought to you by...

Creator Day, Thursday 15th May. It goes up from £199 next Saturday.

Oh...and Nudge presenter, Phill Agnew is walking from Bristol to Poole, it's here.

Hi YATMers, I’m Ben Mitchell, and here’s a photo of me, my wife, and our two-year-old son on Christmas Eve, visiting Santa at a local farm.

I’m a qualified life coach, dedicated to supporting people living with persistent chronic pain.

I founded Your Life Matters in early 2023, inspired by my 13-year journey with ankylosing spondylitis. This is an arthritis which primarily affects the spine but can spread to other joints in the body.

My mission is to empower others to live the life they desire, despite the challenges of chronic pain.

My book recommendation, perfect for this time of year, is Ultra-Processed People by Chris Van Tulleken. Chris expertly unpacks the complex world of ultra-processed foods, explaining what they are and why they dominate our diets, reminding us that it’s not our fault they’ve become so hard to resist!

Let's make sure we connect today.

Here I am on LinkedIn

This is where I work

The longer you stay committed, the more confidence you gain.

For many people, the journey often begins with uncertainty, self-doubt, and, at times, outright fear. With each piece of work you create or venture you start and progress in, confidence grows.

In a recent conversation with marketing legend Ann Handley in YATM Club, Ann said something that inspired me to share with you today:

“You don’t wait for confidence to create; you create to build confidence.”

I’d like to explore it further with you today.

Confidence Is Earned Through Repetition

When I started YATM, I wasn’t overflowing with confidence. In fact, every newsletter was a leap into the unknown.

When you don’t have a guidebook and you’re reliant on your own persistence, you don’t know if you’ll run out of steam and give up.

I doubted whether anyone would read it, let alone find it valuable. However, the process of showing up, I felt a little stronger in myself, in terms of self belief.

A lot of the time, we lean into outputs, goals, and results. It's always about the audience; it's never about us (the people producing the work).

You create so you can prove to yourself that you can do it. Ann’s newsletter began in 2018, and our conversation leaned into the idea that the work we produce helps shape who we are.

Ann said:

“It’s not about creating something perfect; it’s about creating something authentic. Perfection is overrated. Progress is what builds confidence.”

Consider this, if you’re learning to play the guitar, you’re not expected to play an AC/DC intro on the first day. You start with awkward movements and out of tune.

It’s the same with creativity and confidence. Your early attempts may seem rough, but each iteration sharpens your skills and strengthens your belief in your abilities and what you can share.

From reading music producer, Rick Rubin’s, The Creative Act, he reinforces this idea in his reflections on creativity: “If you’re open to the mysteries of creativity, you’re more likely to discover something profound.”

Confidence, in his view, arises from participating in the creative process without being constrained by the fear of outcomes. His work with legendary artists shows how creating with an open mind nurtures both innovation and self-belief.

Something Always Holds Us Back

Whilst it feels good finding momentum with our efforts, it begins from a shaky space.

Looking back, I realise that I have learned that confidence is built through taking action and trying new things.

Having a weekly email and showing up in front of people regularly, through live events, has helped me become more self-assured.

There are always hurdles to clear when you’re going from acknowledging how tough it is to start something new, to feeling at ease.

1) Lack Of Experience

When you have limited experience for how a medium works, from presenting to writing, it can present a huge wall to climb. A lack of familiarity, can hold you back from progressing. Or even worse, give up too soon.

2) Fear Of Disapproval

One of the biggest things that used to hold me back was, ‘what will others think?’ You have to learn to see people, such as those who unsubscribe or dismiss you on LinkedIn as just what they are – people who were never really ‘your people.’ You don’t need everyone on your side.

3) Fear Of Failure

It is far easier to stick with the way you have always done things than it is to try something new. Without taking the plunge and exploring something new, you’ll never know what’s possible and what you might be able to achieve.

The biggest return I found from persistence and finding time as a friend, is that I started to meet amazing people. As more of the right people subscribed, the more confident I became.

What happened was I started to get to know other people better. This is why I still enjoy producing this newsletter. The act of sharing not only builds confidence but also fosters connections that reinforce your belief in your abilities.

As Ann pointed out in our discussion:

“When you focus on the process rather than the outcome, you free yourself to enjoy the act of creating. Confidence follows when you’re present in the work, not fixated on the result.”

The Community Effect: Confidence Through Connection

When you find a space with other people it helps build confidence.

Being surrounded by supportive, challenging, and encouraging people makes it easier to take risks and grow. This is why YATM is more than just a platform for sharing ideas; it is a safe space where people can experiment, tinker, refine their ideas, and ultimately achieve success.

Sharing our work with others allows us to receive valuable feedback and different perspectives. More importantly, it helps us realise that we are not alone in our challenges.

Connecting with others reinforces our belief in ourselves and our ability to make a positive impact.

You start to create a feedback loop where others around you can share and be open with each other. This helps to amplify confidence not just in you, but others around you.

Confidence Is Not About Perfection

One of the biggest myths about confidence is that it comes from getting things “right.”

In reality, confidence often comes from embracing imperfection and being willing to start in a messy place.

If you chase perfection, it only leads to frustration and burnout. Confidence, on the other hand, comes from celebrating progress, not perfection. It’s about recognising how far you’ve come, even if you’re not where you want to be yet.

This mindset shift is crucial for creators. I know that when I started the YATM newsletter, it was generic marketing advice. It was only by feedback, adding new ideas, then another layer by bringing others into the creation process, that things started to change.

Over time, I know that the act of creating itself is more valuable than the outcome. The outcome becomes better, with time.

Let’s Round-Up

This is the message I want to share: confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you create. Start small, but start.

It's not something you gain instantly; rather, it's a return from your hard work and deliberate effort. As Ann Handley shared, “Creating transforms you. Each piece of work you put into the world is a brick in the foundation of your confidence."

So, if you’re waiting for confidence to strike before you begin, don’t.

Start where you are, with what you have, and trust that the process will guide you. Create more, and in doing so, you’ll become more, more skilled, more resilient, and a deeper connection to your work and yourself.

N.B. The pic at the top today is from Amy Nolan.

Today's Audio Tie-In

I'm testing out Notebook LM in January with 15 minute AI discussions. Here is a today's confidence topic. Love to know what you think.

Today's Deep Dive

Time Wasting

Relax watching bouncing dots make a connection when they get closer.

Dots On A Screen

This Week Around The Web

GROWTH, CREATION & YOUR INDEPENDENCE

Having humble confidence (video) - from Kris Kelso

5 content marketing influencers share what's in for 2025 - from LinkedIn

THE COMMUNITY YOU CAN BUILD

Make community promises you can actually keep.- from Becky Pierson Davidson

Make an impact without being the loudest in the room - from Matt King

GROWING YOUR NEWSLETTER

Good welcome emails vs. bad welcome emails - from Chenell Basilio

How to use LinkedIn newsletters - from Social Media Examiner

The Misfit Identity

Sometimes, we hold back and present a version of ourselves to fit in, which often means we fit badly.

Standing out and accepting ourselves can be a trickier path to follow, but rewarding for the long term.

This is what being a misfit represents—not conforming to norms and expectations.

It means not following a set of rules that people have always followed.

New Book Out In February From The YATM Family

Mark Schaefer's latest book, Audacious, is published in February, watch the trailer for the book.

I have pre-ordered mine, click here to get yours.

The Schaef is also a part of YATM Club.

If you want to feel a part of a team with talented people on your side, this is the place to bring you and your work to in '25.

Let's book in 20 minutes next week, choose a time here. I'll show you YATM Club, what happens, the sessions we have, so you can decide if it’s the right fit for you.

Remember, all of us is smarter than one of us. Perhaps we'll chat next week?

People Of YATM

"YATM is my circle of support and my spark.

It's because of the people who make it what it is. It’s not just a group - it’s a community of genuine, creative, and inspiring individuals who truly care about one another’s success.

Plus, I’m not judged for being a mid-40s man who wears a baseball cap and rides a skateboard."

Matt King