Hi YATMers, I'm Sean Fane. I spent 20 years founding, growing or rescuing IT businesses (mostly in Slough), before I became a financial adviser.
Through Fane Financial Services I now help IT (and occasionally other) business owners, directors and contractors plan their exits, investments, protection and retirement, so the thing they've built actually sets them and their families free.
Free, in my case, to then spend hours strimming weeds in Tuscany….well it beats a desk in Slough Trading Estate lol ;o)
Here's my recommendation for you. The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday. I became familiar with Ryan’s work after a heart attack, a stroke and cancer decided to gatecrash the same few years of my life (the inconvenience!).
His books helped me develop a framework for facing dark times and turning setbacks into fuel, rather than letting them flatten me. Stoicism isn't about being unbothered, or detached (as some often think)… it's about being engaged and finding acceptance, purpose and peace with life.
Let's make sure we connect today.
Here I am on LinkedIn
Where I work here
PS - I also run Niggly Stuff, tools that simplify annoying life-admin, giving you your time back: wills, tenancy, inheritance tax and lots more. No sign-up or faff.
When status moves around, people feel more comfortable contributing.
It’s not about creating a hierarchy or deciding who gets to look more important. It’s about helping people know they have a place where they can be seen.
We live our lives where status is presented through job titles, popularity or being above someone else. Status becomes a problem when it is fixed. What if it were shaped in a way where it could move?
Let me explain. It’s someone who arrives at an event knowing nobody, but has the guts to step in. A few months later, people recognise them and it starts to feel easier. Over time, they become somebody that others trust, ask for help, want to sit next to, or are simply pleased to see.
Their income might not have changed, but their position within that group has.
This is how I look at status. A healthy community isn’t one where everybody has equal status, but one where everybody has the opportunity to be significant.
Recognition Versus Progression
There is a difference between recognising somebody and creating the conditions where their position can change.
You can thank someone, mention them in your work, invite them into what your building or ask them to lead. All of this matters, but longevity comes when someone starts to feel, I can become someone here.
I have seen this on many occasions in YATM. Someone can arrive knowing no one, then over time, become familiar. Nothing is officially announced, but their standing within the group changes.
I love seeing someone’s place change over time.
Stewart Perrett hosted Lunch Club Poole two weeks ago. A couple of years ago, this would probably have felt like a step too far, particularly having the confidence to be at the front.
By being part of the community and feeling supported, leading the event became a feel-good moment that showed what can happen when people are given trust and an opportunity.
Status Doesn’t Have To Move Upwards
A mistake I have made when talking about progression is making it sound like a ladder:
By this I mean:
Attendee.
Contributor.
Panelist.
Host.
Leader.
That can happen, but not everyone needs to climb towards a microphone. Status doesn’t have to always move upwards, it can move deeper into the network.
I see so many examples where status isn’t about who is at the front.
Felicity Hodkinson is great at welcoming newcomers. Christophe Stourton is often the person who gets the ball rolling and puts everyone at ease when a host asks, ‘Does anyone have any questions?’ Liam Toms brings humour and that our challenges stick to the rulebook.
Those people carry huge significance without having to be at the front.
The problem is that communities can accidentally recreate the same hierarchies we find everywhere else. If there is only one route to becoming significant, everyone eventually competes for the same few positions.
Healthier communities create many ways to matter. People don’t just have to thin ‘How can I become a leader here?’ It could simply be, ‘What can I become known for here?’
People Stay Because Of What They Accumulate
Many conversations around community focus on why people join and what encourages them to step in, such as content, access or benefits.
What someone gradually accumulates over time is different. It’s the relationships they build, the reputation they earn, the familiarity of being around other people and the shared memories they create. All of this becomes the glue that makes a place feel right.
If somebody has spent several years as part of a community, they are no longer simply deciding whether the next event is worth attending. They know people and people know them. They have stories and social capital that is built over time, where the value isn’t reset every month.
We can focus so heavily on what we have to provide next that we forget about what people themselves are building. It’s about creating something where continued participation has meaning.
The longer someone contributes, the richer their connection becomes.
Let’s Round Up
At first, we want to be recognised and for people to know who we are. This is one of the reasons I started YATM in 2013.
Once you know that you belong, you no longer need every moment to prove it. You can use your standing to help somebody else, make another person feel welcome or make an introduction.
That creates a different progression.
I want to matter.
I matter here.
I can help you matter.
Status isn’t a fixed amount that people have to compete for. People with standing become people who create standing for others.
People may arrive because they want to meet others. Over time, they feel part of the whole dynamic, to the point where their absence is noticed.
Healthy communities keep making room for that to happen to somebody else.
People may arrive because they want to meet others. They stay when others start wanting to meet them.
Share this with someone else 💌
youarethemedia.co.uk/community-grows-when-status-moves/
Time Wasting
Discover what films were made where you live...
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This Week Around The Web
GROWTH, CREATION & YOUR INDEPENDENCE
When should you delete a blog? - from Rachel Bray
👉 Your work that's of little of interest or substance, it's time to go
If you're using AI, you're falling behind - from Dave Harland
👉 13 places to get ideas without being plugged into a machine.
THE COMMUNITY YOU CAN BUILD
Insta is pushing back against giving people control of their feeds - from ABC
👉 The future of ownership isn't being able to reach people. It's people being able to choose you.
If it belongs to everybody, it belongs to nobody - from Gaping Void
👉 Stop trying to make the culture safe for everyone, but for someone
GROWING YOUR NEWSLETTER
Do you still sound like you? - from Ecosend
� TEmbrace AI or get left behind. But how, without losing your voice to slop?
A bigger newsletter isn't necessarily a stronger newsletter - from Omega
👉 Rather than only asking “How many clicked?”, you can ask: who replied?
Check out Anna's TED Talk...
Anna Lundberg's TED Talk was released this week, you'll love it.
It asks where our definition of success came from. From childhood, we learn to follow the rules and look for external validation.
Anna's point is not to abandon ambition, but to notice whose expectations we are following. You can watch the presentation here.
We head to London today for Lunch Club...
YATM Lunch Club today is all about why people decide you are worth paying attention to. Let's figure this out together.
Looking forward to seeing everyone again and heading to our favourite place in Wandsworth.
☀️ Lunch Club Bristol is Thursday 24th September on the right people
☀️ Lunch Club Manchester is Thursday 1st October on being you
☀️ Lunch Club Poole is Thursday 5th November on do it your way
☀️Lunch Club London is Thursday 12th November on spaces
September deep dive in YATM Club...
How do people know you know your stuff?
Inside YATM Club, we’re going deeper on this with Trevor Young next week.
AI can help anyone publish more content, so our challenge is no longer simply being visible. It’s being recognised for your expertise, personality and point of view.
We’ll look at how to build authority, create stronger signals and become recognised for what you know. It's next Tuesday 22nd at 9.15am BST, in YATM Club.
If you're a YATM Club member, add it to your calendar here.
If you now feel ready to join and be part of sessions like this, join YATM Club, our membership space, it's £90 + VAT a quarter.
Would you like me to show you before you join? Let's chat, book a time here,
Travel and talking this week in Bedfordshire. Have a great Thursday your side...
