YATM | The Feedback Filter That Works

Today's YATM newsletter is brought to you by...

Tomorrow's (Friday) Lunch Club Special with Bournemouth University

Hi YATMers! I’m Bex Elder a website copywriter and French to English marketing translating.

I specialise in working with values-led brands who want personality-packed copy.

It seems rude not to give a book podcast as a mad reader.

As we’re heading into summer I’m going to recommend my favourite beach read, Daisy Jones and the Six. It's an aural history of a fictional band inspired by Fleetwood Mac.

The photo, at the top, is from a family axe throwing competition where I was first to get an ax to stick despite a truly awful technique 😂

Let's make sure we connect today

Here I am on LinkedIn

Where I work here

If we don’t bring other people along, we’re not going to be able to create meaningful change.

After each Creator Day, I request feedback. I do this not to correct what didn't work but to discover what I may have overlooked, tune into, and adapt.

I’m not chasing a flawless event. I’m looking for momentum.

This isn’t about ego, either. Feedback, when framed right, doesn’t become a personal attack. When someone offers their own thoughts that helps us see clearer, we know what to do more of.

In 2024, I wrote that feedback isn’t criticism, it gives you clarity. I still believe that. Recently, I’ve now realised something else, feedback clarifies or it can simply drain.

Let’s explore the difference and why learning to tune your ear is one of the most powerful community and creator skills you can have.

Feedback Is Clarity, Not Criticism

When you hear the word “feedback,” how does your body react? Often, it can feel like a performance review. That’s how I used to feel.

I’d ask for input after delivering what I’d put my heart into, and then get ready for a morale sap or become frustrated when someone said they wanted better signage to a room.

Looking back now, I realise I was asking the wrong questions. I focused too much on the finer details instead of what could be taken onboard to progress.

Over time, I began to understand feedback differently. The right kind doesn’t shrink you, it shapes you and how you think. When the clues are in front of you, it can help guide the next steps.

That’s clarity and with the community we’re building at YATM, I need that.

Fixing vs. Forwarding

Not all feedback is created equal.

In fact, not all feedback is even feedback, some of it, you just don’t need.

Let me break it into two camps:

1. Fixing "What went wrong?" Makes you defensive, narrows your view

2. Forwarding "Where’s the next steps?” Makes you curious, gives you direction

Fixing feedback. This is where you focus on the flaws. This is where you spend more time and headspace on comments around, “This part didn’t land for me,” or “It wasn’t quite what I expected.”

It’s not that this feedback is invalid. It can be helpful. What it often does is encourage you to be more defensive, where you have to prove, explain or to please.

Forwarding feedback. This is what gives you the opportunity to lean into what someone has shared. It could be along the lines of, “What if we found a way to do this together next time?” or “I didn’t expect to meet people like me there.”

This kind of feedback doesn’t just say what happened. It suggests what could happen next.

What To Listen For (And What to Tune Out)

The true skill lies not only in hearing feedback but also in recognising the patterns that indicate what is useful and what isn't.

Here’s a guide I now follow. To show you what I mean this is from feedback from this years Creator Day. The day after the event, people are invited, anonymously, to share.

💚 Feedback that moves you forward:

This feedback echoed and extended the values that Creator Day was built on, community, connection, momentum, and possibility.

- “I left the event wanting to take more risks, can there be more encouragement for this?”

→ This is action-oriented and reflects the intention the day was meant to generate.

- “I didn’t expect to connect with so many people so quickly.”

→ Celebrates the depth of connection possible in a short time

- “It made me want to share more of myself in what I create. This needs to be heightened.”

→ That’s a sign of the event building both confidence and visibility for people.

These responses are not about approval; they indicate momentum. They highlight what people want more of, not just what they appreciated.

❌ Feedback that slows you down:

These responses are by no means negative, but requested changes that pull away from the YATM ethos.

- “I was expecting it to feel more of a conference with breakout sessions and more commercial advice.”

→ Assumes a traditional format instead of engaging with the alternative, community-first structure of Creator Day.

- “Why not have the event in London? More people would come.”

→ A logistical comment that overlooks the deliberate decision to keep the event grounded in Poole and outside the ‘corporate’ centre.

“More detail about speakers ahead of time would have helped me prepare.”

→ This is valid but points to predictability, rather than leaning into discovery and serendipity.

These often come from outside your intent. It becomes difficult to retrofit your work for someone else’s taste, at the same time you cannot ignoring critique. nstead, you should weigh it by value, not volume.

Helpful feedback often comes with direction. Draining feedback often comes with demands. The cues are always there to move forwards.

Feedback As Co-authorship

The best kind of feedback doesn’t just rate what you did. It wants you to build on it.

This is the kind of feedback we reach for, when it’s collaborative. It’s offered in the spirit of, “What if this idea became even more you?”

Here’s how to recognise feedback with momentum:

- It reflects back the intent you started with.

- It invites thinking, adjustments, expansion, but not contraction.

- It energises, rather than exhausts.

After every Creator Day, I’m not looking for a popularity contest. I’m listening for what people want to carry forward. Which part of the day made something click? Which conversation stuck with them? Where can tweaks be made? What gave them the courage to start?

Ask like a collaborator, not a service provider.

Let’s Round-Up

Feedback doesn’t live in a Google form. It lives in conversation.

It becomes a community tool. The goal isn’t to iron out every wrinkle. It’s to see what has meaning clearly enough to push forward with.

You don’t need universal approval; you need people you can build with. Ones who challenge and refine your ideas to help sharpen them.

Next time you finish something, a project, an event, a piece of writing, ask yourself:

Did I hear anything that made me want to do it again, but push it that little bit further?

If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track.

If the answer is no, you’re probably listening to the wrong kind of feedback.

Asking for input is a team sport, it was never made to be all on you.

Share this with someone else 💌

https://www.youarethemedia.co.uk/types-of-feedback/

Time Wasting

See how countries compare in size.

Neighbours in Numbers

This Week Around The Web

GROWTH, CREATION & YOUR INDEPENDENCE

This belief strategy is a game changer - from Joe Pulizzi

If AI replaces you in 5 years, would you do anything differently today? - from Mitch Joel

THE COMMUNITY YOU CAN BUILD

How not to deliver attendee experience - from Ryan Hamill

How private equity kills companies and communities - from The Verge

GROWING YOUR NEWSLETTER

Ways to increase your open rate - from Mailerlite

Stop selling newsletter ads - from Matt McGarry

Side Project To Big Project

The transition from being creatively committed to having commercial ambitions is not a quick leap, but a series of steps that require persistence and adaptability.

You can’t rush this without risking the integrity of what you’re creating.

This is why people often give up too soon.

It takes time, and many of us may not have the large audiences and reputations that others have built over years. That’s okay, that’s for them, this is about you.

The New YATM Term Starts In September

A community isn’t something you control from above. It happens when people are invited to take part, be seen, and help make something together.

I'll share with you next week, the new YATM term that starts in September.

We start Lunch Club in London on Thursday 4th September and then in Poole for Thursday 11th September. I hope you can join in and you can book from next week.