YATM | Why People Join Networks (And It’s Not Because Of You)
You Are The Media
from Mark Masters
You Are The Media (YATM) is the home for marketing misfits. It started in 2013 at the seaside, in England 🌊 The community is built around creativity, interdependence, visibility, experimentation and co-learning.
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Hi YATMers! I’m Tina Korup, Danish and a business psychologist, currently on a mission to connect with new humans, in ways other than just hitting follow on LinkedIn.
For the past couple of decades, I’ve been fascinated by how power and leadership change the way our brains fire, and how that shows up in less-than-great behaviours.
Outside of work, my lifelong obsession is design and architecture (the Scandi kind, of course). Which is why “whitewashing” has an entirely different meaning to me.
If you're at Lunch Club London today, see you there and we can chat.
The value of a network grows when people join in.
People don’t step up because it’s going to be good for you, they join in because it’s good for them.
Nothing in business or community growth happens in straight lines. The point you end up at is always different from the place you started.
If you want people on your side, persistence matters. But more than persistence, people need to know:
☀️ they can see themselves at the table
☀️ they understand what’s in it for them
☀️ and they feel it will be useful, enjoyable, and beneficial.
This is the real difference between a group that fizzles out and a network that compounds in value.
We Need Starting Points (Here’s Mine)
Back in 2016, I wanted to meet people who subscribed to this newsletter.
It was my way to say hello and get to know others better.
It meant I could put a face to a subscriber as I could see people subscribing who lived nearby.
So I started a small lunch. No grand vision, no community strategy, just meeting people.
It was the first time I could take the conversations off email and put them in real life.
I loved it, it meant I could find a way to connect the newsletter to the experience. It was personal, curiosity driven and it gave me a direct connection. Over the years, those connections have become friends.
What Happens Over Time
At first, Lunch Club was a vehicle for me. It gave me a chance to sharpen my presentation skills and test whether I could host events. It was my experiment.
Over time, the focus shifted. The value wasn’t in me hosting. It was in the people in the room, connecting with each other.
With regular lunches, people began to recognise familiar faces. They felt at ease with each other. They built trust. They realised others were on their side.
The culture of familiarity grew naturally because people kept showing up.
Then the big shift happened: the room became ours, not mine.
What started as a platform for me became a platform for others to step up, be seen, and feel like they belong.
The Point Of Building Networks
We’re about to step into the 10th year of Lunch Clubs, from September to April 2026.
If I could sit down with my younger self in 2016, I’d give him two questions to think about.
1)What’s going to be in it for the people who join in, that they can’t get elsewhere?
Is it:
☀️ the chance to be seen?
☀️ the opportunity to step up?
☀️ the encouragement to make new friends?
☀️ the energy of an experience that feels different from everything else?
The quickest way to kill momentum is to deliver a replica of what already exists.
What happens when all you do is deliver what’s everywhere else is that intentions slowly fizzle out.
I have realised that to build momentum, you need a core group of people, these are the people you can rely on and take that weight off your shoulders. It even means a lot these days when some people arrive a little earlier to set up the room and test out the speakers. That never happened in the beginning.
2) How can you create opportunities where people can step up?
This one took me longer to learn. But the greater the opportunity you provide for others to take the stage, the stronger the network becomes.
By this, I don’t mean the token “guest speaker.” I mean giving lots of people their moment at the front, whether it’s hosting, sitting on a panel, or asking a big question.
By giving others space to step up, you start to see their talents shine and in turn, you become braver yourself.
Lunch Club may have started with me, but over time it’s no longer about me. Other people now host the events, others sit on the panels, and my role is often just to thank everyone and share what’s next.
That shift changes the dynamic completely. The glue isn’t a single person, it’s the connection people feel to each other.
Conversations, introductions, and collaborations happen without me always steering the wheel. The room became ours, not mine.
The Payoff For People
Networks grow when they provide people something they can use for themselves.
For some, it’s status: the chance to host, to speak, to be recognised.
For others, it’s affiliation: belonging to something that feels bigger than them.
Lunch Club has become a place where people can shape their own identity, understanding and deeper connection with others.
That’s the real point of networks, they don’t grow because you need them to. They grow because others can see themselves inside them.
The moment your project stops being about you and becomes about them, that’s when it scales.
The Consistency Pay Off
When people know the network is made for them in mind, the dynamic starts to change.
Over the years, here’s what I’ve learned to keep in tune with others:
Know your audience deeply. Understanding the people who join in with you is invaluable as it works both ways. For instance, I reach out to people to share what I am thinking and they respond telling me how it is with them.
Choose depth over breadth. Intentionally choosing a smaller audience with higher levels of engagement means you have the chance to get to know people better. On the email sequence for new subscribers to the newsletter, I encourage people to get in touch or ask a simple question.
Make it easy to join in. Joining something new can feel overwhelming. Reduce that fear by making the steps clear, the numbers manageable, and the welcome obvious.
Smaller groups encourage togetherness. Smaller groups make for better conversation with more people being able to make their voice and perspective heard. Lunch Club audiences can be from 30 to 60 people.
Consistency is how you show people it’s safe to join in. It’s how momentum builds for everyone.
Let’s Round-Up
Networks don’t thrive because you want them to. They thrive because people can see themselves inside.
That’s the lesson of Lunch Club over the past decade. It started as a way for me to meet people from the newsletter. Today, it’s a platform for others to be seen, connect, and belong.
It moves from “what’s good for me” to “what’s good for them,” that’s when your network really begins to make change.
It All Starts Again
The new YATM year runs from September to May 2026.
Everything is centred on knowing that we don’t need to figure this all out for ourselves when it comes to marketing our businesses and promoting ourselves.
That’s why Lunch Club is back. We start in London today, and then Poole next week.
I hope you’ll find in Lunch Club what others already have: a place that feels good for you, that gives you something to take away, and that reminds you, it’s good to feel a part of something with other people on your side.
If you’re tired of measuring everything against reach, likes, or engagement, that’s good too.
Build the idea you want to see more of. Stick with it. Let people catch up.
Let your idea deepen and grow alongside the people who choose to join you.
This newsletter is sent to you via Kit.
Our good pal, Fab Giovanetti at Alt Marketing School has a free session on Monday 15th September to look inside the AMS Kit account and the systems used to build an email audience.
I'd like to see how Fab creates her welcome sequence.
If you'd like to come to Lunch Club Poole next Thursday 11th, the theme is 'being genuine.'
This is what I want to know, 'When does authenticity feel performative? Is there a difference between performing honesty and actually being honest?' What do you think?
You Are The Media (YATM) is the home for marketing misfits. It started in 2013 at the seaside, in England 🌊 The community is built around creativity, interdependence, visibility, experimentation and co-learning.
